Overconfident, Egoistic, Boastful, Arrogant, Manipulative, Selfish, Patronizing, Exercise of Power with dominance, Extremely demanding, an excessive need for admiration, Adamant, lack of empathy and consideration for other people.
Heard of some one??? Does this ring a lot of bells ??? They are called Narcissists.
Narcissist are always self-centered, arrogant in both thinking and behavior, lack empathy with no consideration for other people. They love to be praised. The more you praise them the more peaceful your conversation would be, if you don’t, it wont be a dialogue. You will end up listening to a big speech proving that they are right. They never listen to you, they follow their own concepts. They have only one way – theirs!
Their grandiose thinking enhances their self esteem that they become over confident. They build a very strong belief that they are superior or special than every one around them. They seek excessive admiration and attention and always crave to know what others think highly of them. They can never accept criticism or rejection as it may directly hit their self esteem. They do not accept any negative feedback or defeat in any form. They would be overcome with the feeling of ’emptiness’ and humiliated when someone they receive negative feedback and they retaliate.
They react instead of responding. They are constantly found dreaming about unrealistic success and fame. They exaggerate their importance and presence. They are envious of others and believe that others are envious of them.They are always arrogant and rough. Their conversations are always self loathing and praising. They highly lack listening skills. They are often found to be exploitative and dominating.
When we do a self analysis of ourselves, we would see that these are very common behaviors that is displayed by all of us. However, those who show these traits in almost all their actions is who are termed to be a Narcissist.
People who work with a Narcissist are always found to be counterproductive. Their arrogance and aggression create negativity in the workplace. They are often found to be sabotaging the team and create animosity. They are often found to indulge in workplace bullying or indirect means to affect a good performer mentally. They cannot resist any one becoming a star as they constantly yearn for attention. However, they are extremely cautious in expressing themselves in the best light. They are masters of manipulation, hence it is highly difficult to identify them.
How to identify a Narcissist
- Criticize you constantly
- Blame you and try to PUNISH you
- They identify your weak spots and turn them against you
- Often passes negative remarks about you by exaggerating
- Lies to get ahead of others and doesn’t worry about hurting anyone emotionally
- Sabotages other’s work as much as possible to be the best then everyone else
- Spread gossips but deny them when confronted
- Ensures maintaining ethics but encourages others to not follow ethics by instigating work pressure
- Take credit for other’s accomplishments
- Conversation Interrupter and attention seeker
- Charming, persuasive, manipulating, two faced, backstabbing, extreme sense of superiority and utilizes every opportunity to passively develop negativity in others
How to cope up with a Narcissist at work
Well, very difficult.
- Be strong, its OK, they are every where
- Accept the fact that there are all different kinds of people at work
- Be realistic in the way you approach them, always document your conversations
- Always be professional, never be approach your work relationships emotionally
- Do not react or fight, understand that nothing is personal
- Just as you document your conversations, put down your achievements in writing
- Encourage professional conversations but never entertain personal talks
- Always be cautious in the way you talk in front of a Narcissist
- Be very careful with the tone you use on them
Always try to be yourself. You cant change others but when you understand yourself, you’ll learn how to take care of your emotions!
Do you find yourself to be Narcissist? No big deal, everything takes time to change. Lets’s discuss in our next post.